About
Melissa
I help high performers build thriving, harmonious relationships, without sacrificing ambition.
What you'll find here are actionable insights, a “no fluff” approach to relationships as a high performer.
The two things that make for a fulfilling life: purpose and connection. If you’re reading this, you’re likely already pursuing your purpose, ambition, or goals. Maybe you’ve been married for years and have lost the “honeymoon phase”, or perhaps you’re desiring to find “your person.”
You’ve come to the right place.
I understand on a visceral level the challenges high performers face in dating and relationships, having graduated from college at 19 years old, and worked high-level jobs before the age of 21. I did my first news appearance at age 20, and became an international speaker at age 25. I authored college textbooks that became international best-sellers and sold more than 200,000+ (and were translated into 4 different languages) by age 27 and got my M.B.A. from a top tier graduate school.
I thought my career success would guarantee me a better shot in the dating pool. Even with all this success so early in life, I spent nearly a decade single and frustrated.
Before meeting my now husband, I went on 100+ first dates through…
- Every major dating app (Hinge, The League, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Plenty of Fish, and even Tinder)
- High-level matchmakers
- Friend setups and introductions
I followed the dating advice of many mainstream dating coaches, which didn’t lead to any committed or serious relationships beyond 6 months.
Beyond finding the right person,
I had to become the right person.
Yes, I had career success. I was driven, ambitious, detail-oriented. But in my twenties and early thirties, I was also struggling with…
- (Clinically Diagnosed) Anxiety Disorder: A condition in which a person has excessive worry and feelings of fear, dread, and uneasiness.
- People-Pleasing: I would ignore my needs to be the “perfect partner” and think only of others, at the expense of myself.
- Anxious Attachment: I struggled to feel secure in relationships. I was always waiting to hear back when I sent a text message, and would catastrophize what it meant if I didn’t get an immediate response. While I longed to feel close to my partner, this need was driven by fears of abandonment.
- Alcoholism: I would drink in excess in social gatherings, 4,5,8 drinks in a night was not uncommon. I was so empathic that this was the only way I could shut off.
What changed it all…
Learning that dating as a high performer IS different. If you want to find an equal as a high performer, you both have to do the personal work to become secure AND you need to change your approach. Conventional advice doesn’t apply, if you truly want to have an exceptional relationship.
Becoming the right person...
For me, that meant cutting out alcohol completely, self-study, individual therapy, and neurofeedback meditation (40 Years of Zen). As a result, I became…
- Resilient: My internal world is no longer filled with anxiety.
- Confident: I stopped seeking validation through people-pleasing.
- Securely Attached: I cured my anxious attachment. I no longer worry or stress in the absence of communication, and am now married to someone who will be gone in total for 6 months of our first year together doing expeditions in the coldest, most unforgiving environments in the world.
As a result of these experiences, I have developed an intimate understanding of what it takes to build not only a secure but thriving relationship amidst the most challenging circumstances.
It was only once I paved my own way and broke away from social norms that I discovered and honed a new approach that led me to meet, marry, and create a thriving relationship with my husband, Akshay Nanavati.
This is our story...
After living in Portland, Oregon for 12 years, going on 100+ dates to find the love of my life and struggling with anxiety, I knew something needed to change. I took a leap and went to a neurofeedback meditation retreat to transform my anxious attachment into a secure attachment style.
During the last day of the retreat, I had a vision of my future life with my future husband. It was so real that it propelled me to break my lease and move on intuition to Scottsdale, Arizona.
I planned to attend a new event every week until I met my person.
The first event I attended in Scottsdale was run by Akshay’s friend, who introduced us a month later.
He added me to a hiking group run by Akshay. I was not an outdoor person but was willing to do anything to meet my match. During this hike, Akshay told me that he had been interviewed on the podcast of the founder of the neurofeedback meditation retreat (where I had my vision).
After the hike, I listened to the episode and heard Akshay, a Marine War Veteran, say, “I am more afraid of asking a woman on a date than going to war.” Knowing this, I proceeded to ask him on our first date.
Early into dating, we broke ALL the traditional dating rules. We went deep, discussing every topic we were told to avoid (goals, finances, the future). We create a framework for how we would address conflict in our relationship. By breaking (and making) our own rules, we built a foundation that allowed us to thrive throughout some unique challenges:
- Raising $1.1 million for my husband's world-record expedition
- Being apart for 4 months in our first 12 months of marriage
- Running two full-time businesses, while traveling 80% of the year
With our intentional approach to our relationship, we found our relationship to be the fuel for performance.
The frameworks I teach are backed by neuroscience, biology, and lived experience.
I want to show you how even in the most extreme circumstances, you can create a thriving relationship. We live it.
Copyright 2025 Peak Performance Love™
